What we talk about when we talk about sexual harassment

Source: What we talk about when we talk about sexual harassment

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I attended a Book Expo this weekend.

My published booked me to attend a book expo this weekend. Having never attended one for this is my first book I didn’t know what to expect. The other authors under their brand all had physical books to sign. I didn’t. I had heard how competitive the writing field is but maybe I just happened to have met a nice bunch.

When I arrived my editor took me to the table where their authors were seated. She introduced me to three women and two men. All shook my hand and made room for me at the table. While waiting for the expo to open I decided to strike up a conversation with the woman on my left. She was quite pleasant. I asked my I view her books. She passed one over. I asked the man on my right my I view one of his’. He gave me one. The civic center didn’t open until nine but authors had to there by 7:30 to set up your book and banners and whatnots.

While skimming through the books the woman on my left said, ”  I read your excerpt and I agree with a lot of the advice you’re giving.”

I thanked her and asked may my I interview her after the expo. She smiled a dimpled smile and politely said, “No, I’m not looking for any one.  My books consume all my free time. But I know a few ladies who might be interested in an interview.”

I only had flyers, postcards and business cards to sign. But the other five authors were inserting my ads in their books when they signed one for a reader. I was astonished. There was none of the competitiveness I had been warned about among these people. They were helping get my name out there. People started asking questions about my book from their recommendations.

The woman to my left had the longest line, apparently lot of people are familiar with her work.

I noticed through out the entire day and I noticed she was exactly the kind of woman I’m writing about. I learned a few things about her through our conversations when no one was at the time. The reason I kept bugging her to allow me use her a model to write from is the she is very pretty but that wasn’t what was bringing scores of guys to the table. It was her confidence. She brimmed over with it in not an arrogant manner but in a sweet shy way. I’m not gay but I know when another woman has natural sex appeal and knows how to use it.  This lady was sexy without trying to be sexy. Most of us have to work on what she was doing naturally. I intended to bug her today until she agree to be the model for my next book. It was she who told me I needed to start working on my second book.

Crazy People do not always look like this. Most do not.

Crazy People do not always look crazy. I do not mean people with a mental incapability. I mean people who choose to do crazy things. They are exhausting and absorbs energy that can be used for other things. They are usually very dramatic and erratic. They are a destructive path in anyone’s life they encounters. So avoid them as much as possible. They can be a co-worker, a boss, a spouse or a relative. Some times we can’t avoid them.  But when we must be around them keep as low profile as possible. Ignore their tactics in hope they will cease them.  The more attention they are paid the worst they become. Crazy people do not look like this

Images from 15th-century sexual book in Iran.

Sex has always been a major part of every society. It’s how we continue the human race.This book is even less known to exist than the Chinese book of sex.

 

I warn you these images are quite graphic.

Persian Sex Book

 

Upon doing research on most of these various sex books. I learned that most of women used in these illustrations were not free women. Most were slaves or a harem member. In most ancient cultures women were property. There was rarely anything exotic about being a harem member as it is so often depicted to the Western World. Usually the woman was sex slave until around age forty and then send to live on her own if the prince or sheik didn’t find favors in her.  However once on her own if she continued these sexual activities there was a strong chance she may end up being stoned to death for violating religious practices. (It was ok by the religious law for these things to be done to her by powerful people but not ok by the religious law for her to support herself selling herself.) The ironic was that this is all she knew how to do to make a living but if she did it outside the palace she was usually brought into at around age 8-12 she was killed.  

So forget the starry-eyed stories of Aladdin, most women’ lives were nothing like that. Even in the original account of The Arabians Nights. This woman had to think of a 1,000 stories to entertain an asshole to save her life. That is not my idea of romance.

Sex regulation

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn what’s important is a way of empowering yourself.

Today, we as a society are too bogged down in other people’s business. That is not important. How knowing your neighbor’s personal business will benefit you? How knowing where the girl in the Facebook page lives will benefit you? How will knowing any of these things improve your life? When I say seek knowledge I mean knowledge that is useful to you.

Yes, those like our elected officials we need to know who they are and what they are doing because their actions effects our lives but the average person doesn’t need the scrutinizing society give them. But ironic, those we need to know about. We very rarely look into their lives and those whose information is useless to us we keep them under surveillance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This is a mere waste of time and energy.

Men and women who know how to wield power do not become bog down in trivial things that serve no purpose other than petty harassment. They look for things that are beneficial to them and their goal. 

Knowledge is Power

I am putting through posts about domestic violence along side posts of being sexy and knowing how to wield the power of it because domestic violence is often the largest obstacle many women much free themselves of before they even begin the journey or building self confident. It is an hindrance to everything that causes a person to feel good about themselves. That’s the sole purpose of it. If a person isn’t feeling good about themselves. Then they aren’t feeling sexy about themselves.

I stated from the very first posts this was not a blog about sex in the traditional way seen all over the internet.

Never fight over a guy or (girl).

Women fighting

 

I am aware this is nowadays viewed as test of the strength of the love shared. But it is not worth it. Any guy who will instigate fights between women isn’t in love with either of them.

Most of us fight out of injured pride not out of love.

Some may say. “It’s my husband, my boyfriend, my whatever. How dare she approach him?!” Honey, he isn’t your man if he is cheating.He’s everyone’s man. A marriage license can’t make him yours, he has to decide that within his heart. If he still has a cheating heart marrying him isn’t going to change that.

To the side chick, if he cheats on the one he lives with for you. Then he will cheat on you for another. In most cases he isn’t leaving the one he’s living with no matter what lies he tell you. If you didn’t know he wasn’t single when you met him then leave him. I know it is not always easy to leave as society believes it is. Believe it or not many side girlfriends can not leave without suffering serious retaliations. One of the most popular ways he punishes her is letting his live-in girlfriend or wife finds the woman’s information. If he let you find it. Don’t be stupid and call the woman cussing her out. He is merely using you to punish her because he’s mad at her. You didn’t find the information nor anything else about her before he wanted you to. Most likely she has dumped him for a single man. You may not be aware of this for it isn’t discussed openly but your man and his friends maybe harassing the woman who is trying to get away from him.

Don’t give away your power by fighting over him. He is not mute. He can speak for himself. He do not need you to defend him against any woman’s advances. There are men who strive on this type of drama. Do not allow yourself to get caught up in a fight of any sort. You have no idea rather the woman is armed and dangerous and long gone are the days when the other woman ran from the wife or main lady. People today are dangerous and do not back down and no one other than your child is worth dying for.

    And no this is not strictly a poor people issue as society so often have pigeon holed it to be. It can happen to anyone of any social class.