Every 18 minutes a woman suffer at the hands of an intimate relationship.

According the National Crime Statics every 18 minutes a woman suffer at the hand of an intimate relationship. It isn’t reserved by raced, nationality and nor can social economic status protect you. The Russia parliament recently reinstalled the law it is ok to beat your wife or girlfriend. It is no longer a crime.

    This behavior has become a worldwide epidemic. Not only does it exist in America but all over the world. Often it is done in public and no one rush to the woman’s aid. There’s a case in India where the woman was stabbed to death with the single blade of scissor on the streets and people moved to the other side rather than tried to help her. There’s another case in New Zealand where a woman was publicly stripped and burnt to death for alleged witchcraft.The mob fought off those who tried to help her and sadly many in the mob were other women.

     But I’m always curious of where were her family members who are later saying how much they loved these women and girls after their eath. Frankly,  I think some are lying because love is a powerful emotion. It will prompt you to get off your behind and find out where your loved ones are when you don’t hear from them in a while or when you call them they sounded ‘funny’ over the phone or are invasive in text messages. You will push until you find out they really are just suffering from a cold. You don’t care how upset they get. Love will definitely prompt you to act when you know or suspect they are being abused.

     Worldwide as a global community we need to start setting better examples. Teach our sons that this is not acceptable behavior and stop ‘wink, wink’ at it saying ‘boys will be boys.’  Political correctness have no place in a society if people are dying from everyone being too damn polite to stand up and say a behavior or act is a crime and we will not tolerate it anymore.

     The doctors who came up with the antidote to combat the Plague wasn’t polite about it. They intended to stomp it out and they succeeded. That’s the same mentality needed it’s coming to stomp out this “Plague” of domestic violence.

       Like for example; everyone has been avoiding the blatantly, obvious link between pornography and violence toward women and girls all in the name of money. This is a multi-billion dollar industry. Porn display and present women as objects, not as living, breathing human beings with feelings and emotions. Objects have no feelings. Objects expect nothing because they aren’t living things. It desensitizes men to the fact their act maybe painful to their partners. 

      Even children cartoons often show girls that are supposedly 8-14 years old in ultra short skirts and with a bustline as voluminous Dolly Parton and most parents see nothing wrong with that. Saying it’s just a cartoon. No, it’s not. It’s the start of hooking them into soft porn before they are old enough to graduate into hard porn. They are creating new customers for the industry. Men who will never be able to have successful relationships with real women. Real women do not behavior as those in the porn. It’s harmful to both men and women.




 This Man Is Trying To Explain Why He Punched His GF To Death Over A Tinder Message
Gray Collins

23-year-old Jordan Matthews is facing at least 18 years in prison after murdering his 24-year-old girlfriend Xixi Bi.

Matthews killed Xixi after an argument last August, which Matthews described to emergency responders as just “a bicker.” Matthews had become enraged when he could have sworn that he saw Xixi receive a Tinder message from another man. He began throwing her around the room, and repeatedly punching her. He later called the authorities when he noticed Xixi was having trouble breathing.

In a video released by police, Matthews attempted to explain his actions. He said he was trying to have a “conversation” about her relationship and she wasn’t taking it seriously:

    “I asked her what she was doing, where she had been today, who she was with. She would just not tell me.

    I grabbed her by the front of the T-shirt with two hands and picked her up off the sofa, then I dragged her with one hand around the sofa and threw her into the bedroom.

    Then I picked her up from there and threw her into a cabinet. I picked her up from there and I punched her in the stomach. She said something really really, I can’t put my finger on it.

    Then I picked her up… I just lost it the moment she said something she’d said before, something to do with her friend Ivy I swear.

    After she said that, I instantly punched her pretty, pretty hard in the solar plexus area around here. She instantly, pretty much, bent over, pretty much fell to the floor. I held her up […]

    I could see that that hurt. So I apologized to her. After that we just sat on the bed, and she had a little water and spilt it everywhere.”

His own video testimony can be watched below. It may contain elements disturbing to some readers:

Xixi and Jordan both lived together in the United Kingdom. They met on the popular dating website “Plenty of Fish” after Xixi moved to the country for her education.

Xixi was the heir to a multi-millionaire dollar company back in her home country of China. She was described as a kind and intelligent young woman. Her brother made the following statement to the court:

    “Xixi was needlessly and selfishly killed by Jordan Matthews, a person which she trusted. Xixi was a kind, friendly, approachable person. She was intelligent and had the whole world in front of her. The heart has been ripped out of our family. We as a family will never come to terms with our loss, and Xixi will always be in our hearts however broken they are.”

Unfortunately, the relationship between Xixi and Jordan appears to have been abusive almost from the start. Jordan would apparently beat Xixi if she refused to have sex with him, and he would send her abusive texts and voicemails. Voicemails that were submitted to the court as evidence included:

    “F*** you. Stop texting me you worthless piece of s**t.”

    “You never do anything right. I can’t be bothered texting you.”

    “I have to hit you repeatedly in the head while screaming at you.”

Friends and family remarked that while dating Jordan, Xixi became more withdrawn and appeared to be covering up bruises with larger quantities of makeup.

Jordan initially told first responders that he had nothing to do with her death, saying that they fought, but that the argument just resulted in “make up sex” that was “better than regular sex anyway”. He eventually plead guilty to manslaughter, saying it was not his intention to kill her.

He repeatedly referenced Xixi as his “wonderful girl” and offered to show investigators the ring he planned to propose to her with.

Jordan will serve at least 18 years in prison before he is eligible for release.


Taoist sexual practices


Many aren’t aware that there is a Chinese book much like the Kama Surta but in many ways more liberating because in the beginning, the early writings didn’t focus primary on the male pleasure as the Kama Surta. In many ancient societies sex was not viewed as a taboo as it is today. It was viewed as a normal function of every day life. I don’t agree with everything in it but we have to bear in mind this was written about 2,000 years ago but as it progress the women role in the activity became lessen.

Some Taoist sects during the Han dynasty performed sexual intercourse as a spiritual practice, called “Héqì” (合气, “Joining Energy”). The first sexual texts that survive today are those found at the Mawangdui. While Taoism had not yet fully evolved as a philosophy at this time, these texts shared some remarkable similarities with later Tang dynasty texts, such as the Ishinpō. The sexual arts arguably reached their climax between the end of the Han dynasty and the end of the Tang dynasty. After 1000 CE, Confucian restraining attitudes towards sexuality became stronger, so that by the beginning of the Qing dynasty in 1644, sex was a taboo topic in public life. These Confucians alleged that the separation of genders in most social activities existed 2,000 years ago, and suppressed the sexual arts. Because of the taboo surrounding sex, there was much censoring done during the Qing in literature, and the sexual arts disappeared in public life. As a result, some of the texts survived only in Japan, and most scholars had no idea that such a different concept of sex existed in early China.[1]

Ancient and medieval practices

Qi (Lifeforce) and Jing (Essence)

The basis of all Taoist thinking is that qi is part of everything in existence.[2] Qi is related to another energetic substance contained in the human body known as jing (精), and once all this has been expended the body dies. Jing can be lost in many ways, but most notably through the loss of body fluids. Taoists may use practices to stimulate/increase and conserve their bodily fluids to great extents. The fluid believed to contain the most Jing is semen. Therefore, Taoists believe in decreasing the frequency of, or totally avoiding, ejaculation in order to conserve life essence.[3]

Male control of ejaculation

Many Taoist practitioners link the loss of ejaculatory fluids to the loss of vital life force: where excessive fluid loss results in premature aging, disease, and general fatigue. While some Taoists contend that one should never ejaculate, others provide a specific formula to determine the maximum amount of regular ejaculations in order to maintain health.[4]

The general idea is to limit the loss of fluids as much as possible to the level of your desired practice. As these sexual practices were passed down over the centuries, some practitioners have given less importance to the limiting of ejaculation. Nevertheless, the “retention of the semen” is one of the foundational tenets of Taoist sexual practice.[5]

There are different methods to control ejaculation prescribed by the Taoists. In order to avoid ejaculation, the man could do one of several things. He could pull out immediately before orgasm, a method which Joseph Needham termed “coitus conservatus”.[6] A second method involved the man applying pressure on the perineum, thus retaining the sperm. While, if done incorrectly can cause a retrograde ejaculation, the Taoists believed that the jing traveled up into the head and “nourished the brain.”[7]


Another important concept of “The Joining of the Essences” was that the union of a man and a woman would result in the creation of jing, a type of sexual energy. When in the act of lovemaking, jing would form, and the man could transform some of this jing into qi, and replenish his lifeforce. By having as much sex as possible, men had the opportunity to transform more and more jing, and as a result would see many health benefits.[3]


The concept of Yin and yang is important in Taoism, and consequently also holds special importance in sex. Yang usually referred to the male sex, whereas Yin could refer to the female sex. Man and Woman were the equivalent of heaven and earth, but became disconnected. Therefore, while heaven and earth are eternal, man and woman suffer a premature death.[8] Every interaction between Yin and Yang had significance. Because of this significance, every position and action in lovemaking had importance. Taoist texts described a large number of special sexual positions that served to cure or prevent illness.[9]


For Taoists, sex was not just about pleasing the man. The woman also had to be stimulated and pleased in order to benefit from the act of sex. Sex should not happen if one or the other partners desire it more. If sex were performed in this manner, the woman would create more jing, and the man could more easily absorb the jing to increase his own qi. Women were also given a prominent place in the Ishinpō, with the tutor being a woman. One of the reasons women had a great deal of strength in the act of sex was that they walked away undiminished from the act. The woman had the power to bring forth life, and did not have to worry about ejaculation or refractory period.

Women were often given a position of inferiority in sexual practice. Many of the texts discuss sex from a male point of view, and avoid discussing how sex could benefit women. Men were encouraged to not limit themselves to one woman, and were advised to have sex only with the woman who was beautiful and had not had children. While the man had to please the woman sexually, she was still just an object.[10] At numerous points during the Ishinpō, the woman is referred to as the “enemy”; this was because the woman could cause him to spill semen and lose vitality. In later sexual texts from the Ming, women had lost all semblance of being human and were referred to as the “other,” “crucible”, or “stove” from which to cultivate vitality. The importance of pleasing the woman was also diminished in later texts.[11] The practice was known as Caibu (採補), as a man enters many women without ejaculation.

Women were also considered to be a means for men to extend men’s lives. Many of the ancient texts were dedicated explanation of how a man could use sex to extend his own life. But, his life was extended only through the absorption of the woman’s vital energies (jing and qi). Some Taoists called the act of sex “The battle of stealing and strengthening.”[12] These sexual methods could be correlated with Taoist military methods. Instead of storming the gates, the battle was a series of feints and maneuvers that would sap the enemy’s resistance.[13]

When and where

Another text, Health Benefits of the Bedchamber, indicates that certain times were better for intercourse than others. A person had to avoid having intercourse on quarter or full moons and on days when there were great winds, rain, fog, cold or heat, thunder, lightning, darkness over heaven and earth, solar and lunar eclipses, rainbows and earthquakes. Having intercourse at these times would harm a man’s spirit and would cause women to become ill. Children conceived at these times would be mad, stupid, perverse or foolish; mute, deaf, crippled or blind; unfilial and violent.

Also important was selecting the right day for intercourse if a person desired children. After the woman’s period, the first, third or fifth days were the best. If on these days the man ejaculated after midnight, the child would likely be male. If a female child was desired, the man needed to ejaculate on the second, fourth or sixth days after the cessation of the woman’s period.

The location of sex was also important. People had to avoid the glare of the sun, moon or stars, the interior of shrines, proximity to temples, wells, stoves and privies, and the vicinity of graves or coffins.

If these suggestions were followed the family’s offspring would be good, wise and virtuous. If they were not followed, the offspring would be evil and the family would eventually die off.[14]

Longevity and immortality

Some Ming dynasty Taoist sects believed that one way for men to achieve longevity or ‘towards immortality’ is by having intercourse with virgins, particularly young virgins. Taoist sexual books, such as the Hsuan wei Hshin (“Mental Images of the Mysteries and Subtleties of Sexual Techniques”) and San Feng Tan Cheueh (“Zhang Sanfeng’s Instructions in the Physiological Alchemy”), written, respectively, by Zhao Liangpi and Zhang Sanfeng (not to be confused with semi-mythical Zhang Sanfeng who lived in an earlier period), call the woman sexual partner ding () and recommend sex with premenarche virgins. Zhao Liangpi concludes that the ideal ding is a premenarche virgin just under 14 years of age and women older than 18 should be avoided.[15] Zhang Sanfeng went further and divided ding into three ranks: the lowest rank, 21- to 25-year-old women; the middle rank, 16- to 20-year-old menstruating virgins; the highest rank, 14-year-old premenarche virgins.[16]

According to Ge Hong, a 4th-century Taoist alchemist, “those seeking ‘immortality’ must perfect the absolute essentials. These consist of treasuring the jing, circulating the qi and consuming the great medicine.”[17] The sexual arts concerned the first precept, treasuring the jing. This is partially because treasuring the jing involved sending it up into the brain. In order to send the jing into the brain, the male had to refrain from ejaculation during sex. According to some Taoists, if this was done, the jing would travel up the spine and nourish the brain instead of leaving the body. Ge Hong also states, however, that it is folly to believe that performing the sexual arts only can achieve immortality and some of the ancient myths on sexual arts had been misinterpreted and exaggerated. Indeed, the sexual arts had to be practiced alongside alchemy to attain longevity. Ge Hong also warned it could be dangerous if practiced incorrectly.[17]


Stay away from hypercritical people

This is another type of toxic personality to avoid. The hypercritical person. They can see all your faults but can see the doughnut dusting on their own face.

Being sexy is about building confident and you can do that if someone is always telling you negative things. Hypercritical people are manipulators. They use criticism to control and get their way.  Most people do not realize that hypercritism is a form of abuse. 

Black and Blue is not sexy!

I have noticed nearly every popular movie or book in the past few years has something to do with abusing the woman. Why is that? I can’t make any sense out of how someone putting you down or beating you black and blue supposed to be sexy or proves that they love you?

Domestic violence is a serious issue and should be treated accordingly and not glamorized and glossed over as love. There’s nothing romance or sexy about this new game called “Slap Your Girl.” the craziness of it is….if she leaves it means she wasn’t meant for you but if she doesn’t it means she is the one. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.


When researching for my book I find a crime statistic that said 80% of the young women between 15-24 has experienced some form of intimate violence. The count is far too high if these young women believes that violence equals love and if their boyfriends think he is exhibiting love. Violence is about power, belittling and controlling. It has nothing to do with love.

If they believes that violence is a part of a relationship then society and their families has failed them miserably. If anyone hit you once, they will do it again and again and in some cases until you are dead. Don’t make excuses saying he didn’t mean it. Yes, he did. He goes out in public and behave civilized so why can’t he do it at home? 


Two dogs


Stay away from cat fights

Cat FightWhile working on building yourself up to be as sexy as possible avoid toxic people and situations whenever possible. We all know about the ladies who love to engage in cat fights. There are televisions shows, movies and books about them. Shows like the “The Real Housewives of Wherever” has made this attitude appealing.

The media has a lot of people believing this toxic behavior is sexy. Maybe to an mentally imbalanced person, it maybe. I don’t know but to the rest of us. Being a bitch 24/7 is exhausting. And unproductive.  Being assertive and speaking up for yourself doesn’t mean being a bitch. Too many people confuse the two.

Toxic people drains your energy. Energy that you need to apply to being sexy. When I speak of being sexy I am not strictly speaking of attracting the opposite or same gender. I’m speaking being sexy for yourself. That’s the first person you have to be sexy for__is yourself.

  I guess you call guys who are bitchy and provocative “dog fights” LOL!

Don’t take the bait walk away. Toxic people love to engage in cat and dog fights. The reason I brought this up is once you start shining and building confidence there are going to be people who try and provoke into words of wit. Ignore them, take the high road and twist off in your sexiest strut. Use that energy to pamper yourself. 

There’s a difference between romance and roamance.

There’s a difference between romance and roamance. Roamance is a word I invented for people who roam with romance. Roamance usually starts with a fiery affair but soon fizzy to a whimper because the person is in love with the idea of romance and are capable of actually being very romantic. A Roamancer is great at what they do. They can moves smoothly without a conscious from person to person, some in a matter of days. But usually it is not that soon. They leave many wondering what just happened? A Roamancer gives no indication they are leaving. They simply move on to the next person. They are very charming and romantic is how so many fall for them. They can be hard to detect for they truly believe they are sincere at that moment and are clever and charmastic enough to convince many others they are too.

The Book



I wrote a book on the power of sex and how to wield it. I know the first thing that comes to mind is intercourse. But that is not what my book is about. It’s a straight forward about modern women have given away the power that women have wield  for eons.  It’s about knowing what you want out of life and going after it. Men does it all the time. But women has been taught that is unladylike. Pleassse, give me a break. How else will one get what they want? I am not talking escort services either. I am talking finding a suitable mate and making him your own.


My book will be published March 28, 2017.