I attended a Book Expo this weekend.

My published booked me to attend a book expo this weekend. Having never attended one for this is my first book I didn’t know what to expect. The other authors under their brand all had physical books to sign. I didn’t. I had heard how competitive the writing field is but maybe I just happened to have met a nice bunch.

When I arrived my editor took me to the table where their authors were seated. She introduced me to three women and two men. All shook my hand and made room for me at the table. While waiting for the expo to open I decided to strike up a conversation with the woman on my left. She was quite pleasant. I asked my I view her books. She passed one over. I asked the man on my right my I view one of his’. He gave me one. The civic center didn’t open until nine but authors had to there by 7:30 to set up your book and banners and whatnots.

While skimming through the books the woman on my left said, ”  I read your excerpt and I agree with a lot of the advice you’re giving.”

I thanked her and asked may my I interview her after the expo. She smiled a dimpled smile and politely said, “No, I’m not looking for any one.  My books consume all my free time. But I know a few ladies who might be interested in an interview.”

I only had flyers, postcards and business cards to sign. But the other five authors were inserting my ads in their books when they signed one for a reader. I was astonished. There was none of the competitiveness I had been warned about among these people. They were helping get my name out there. People started asking questions about my book from their recommendations.

The woman to my left had the longest line, apparently lot of people are familiar with her work.

I noticed through out the entire day and I noticed she was exactly the kind of woman I’m writing about. I learned a few things about her through our conversations when no one was at the time. The reason I kept bugging her to allow me use her a model to write from is the she is very pretty but that wasn’t what was bringing scores of guys to the table. It was her confidence. She brimmed over with it in not an arrogant manner but in a sweet shy way. I’m not gay but I know when another woman has natural sex appeal and knows how to use it.  This lady was sexy without trying to be sexy. Most of us have to work on what she was doing naturally. I intended to bug her today until she agree to be the model for my next book. It was she who told me I needed to start working on my second book.

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Learn what’s important is a way of empowering yourself.

Today, we as a society are too bogged down in other people’s business. That is not important. How knowing your neighbor’s personal business will benefit you? How knowing where the girl in the Facebook page lives will benefit you? How will knowing any of these things improve your life? When I say seek knowledge I mean knowledge that is useful to you.

Yes, those like our elected officials we need to know who they are and what they are doing because their actions effects our lives but the average person doesn’t need the scrutinizing society give them. But ironic, those we need to know about. We very rarely look into their lives and those whose information is useless to us we keep them under surveillance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This is a mere waste of time and energy.

Men and women who know how to wield power do not become bog down in trivial things that serve no purpose other than petty harassment. They look for things that are beneficial to them and their goal. 

Never fight over a guy or (girl).

Women fighting

 

I am aware this is nowadays viewed as test of the strength of the love shared. But it is not worth it. Any guy who will instigate fights between women isn’t in love with either of them.

Most of us fight out of injured pride not out of love.

Some may say. “It’s my husband, my boyfriend, my whatever. How dare she approach him?!” Honey, he isn’t your man if he is cheating.He’s everyone’s man. A marriage license can’t make him yours, he has to decide that within his heart. If he still has a cheating heart marrying him isn’t going to change that.

To the side chick, if he cheats on the one he lives with for you. Then he will cheat on you for another. In most cases he isn’t leaving the one he’s living with no matter what lies he tell you. If you didn’t know he wasn’t single when you met him then leave him. I know it is not always easy to leave as society believes it is. Believe it or not many side girlfriends can not leave without suffering serious retaliations. One of the most popular ways he punishes her is letting his live-in girlfriend or wife finds the woman’s information. If he let you find it. Don’t be stupid and call the woman cussing her out. He is merely using you to punish her because he’s mad at her. You didn’t find the information nor anything else about her before he wanted you to. Most likely she has dumped him for a single man. You may not be aware of this for it isn’t discussed openly but your man and his friends maybe harassing the woman who is trying to get away from him.

Don’t give away your power by fighting over him. He is not mute. He can speak for himself. He do not need you to defend him against any woman’s advances. There are men who strive on this type of drama. Do not allow yourself to get caught up in a fight of any sort. You have no idea rather the woman is armed and dangerous and long gone are the days when the other woman ran from the wife or main lady. People today are dangerous and do not back down and no one other than your child is worth dying for.

    And no this is not strictly a poor people issue as society so often have pigeon holed it to be. It can happen to anyone of any social class.

 

 

Taoist sexual practices

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoist_sexual_practices

Many aren’t aware that there is a Chinese book much like the Kama Surta but in many ways more liberating because in the beginning, the early writings didn’t focus primary on the male pleasure as the Kama Surta. In many ancient societies sex was not viewed as a taboo as it is today. It was viewed as a normal function of every day life. I don’t agree with everything in it but we have to bear in mind this was written about 2,000 years ago but as it progress the women role in the activity became lessen.

Some Taoist sects during the Han dynasty performed sexual intercourse as a spiritual practice, called “Héqì” (合气, “Joining Energy”). The first sexual texts that survive today are those found at the Mawangdui. While Taoism had not yet fully evolved as a philosophy at this time, these texts shared some remarkable similarities with later Tang dynasty texts, such as the Ishinpō. The sexual arts arguably reached their climax between the end of the Han dynasty and the end of the Tang dynasty. After 1000 CE, Confucian restraining attitudes towards sexuality became stronger, so that by the beginning of the Qing dynasty in 1644, sex was a taboo topic in public life. These Confucians alleged that the separation of genders in most social activities existed 2,000 years ago, and suppressed the sexual arts. Because of the taboo surrounding sex, there was much censoring done during the Qing in literature, and the sexual arts disappeared in public life. As a result, some of the texts survived only in Japan, and most scholars had no idea that such a different concept of sex existed in early China.[1]

Ancient and medieval practices

Qi (Lifeforce) and Jing (Essence)

The basis of all Taoist thinking is that qi is part of everything in existence.[2] Qi is related to another energetic substance contained in the human body known as jing (精), and once all this has been expended the body dies. Jing can be lost in many ways, but most notably through the loss of body fluids. Taoists may use practices to stimulate/increase and conserve their bodily fluids to great extents. The fluid believed to contain the most Jing is semen. Therefore, Taoists believe in decreasing the frequency of, or totally avoiding, ejaculation in order to conserve life essence.[3]

Male control of ejaculation

Many Taoist practitioners link the loss of ejaculatory fluids to the loss of vital life force: where excessive fluid loss results in premature aging, disease, and general fatigue. While some Taoists contend that one should never ejaculate, others provide a specific formula to determine the maximum amount of regular ejaculations in order to maintain health.[4]

The general idea is to limit the loss of fluids as much as possible to the level of your desired practice. As these sexual practices were passed down over the centuries, some practitioners have given less importance to the limiting of ejaculation. Nevertheless, the “retention of the semen” is one of the foundational tenets of Taoist sexual practice.[5]

There are different methods to control ejaculation prescribed by the Taoists. In order to avoid ejaculation, the man could do one of several things. He could pull out immediately before orgasm, a method which Joseph Needham termed “coitus conservatus”.[6] A second method involved the man applying pressure on the perineum, thus retaining the sperm. While, if done incorrectly can cause a retrograde ejaculation, the Taoists believed that the jing traveled up into the head and “nourished the brain.”[7]

Jing

Another important concept of “The Joining of the Essences” was that the union of a man and a woman would result in the creation of jing, a type of sexual energy. When in the act of lovemaking, jing would form, and the man could transform some of this jing into qi, and replenish his lifeforce. By having as much sex as possible, men had the opportunity to transform more and more jing, and as a result would see many health benefits.[3]

Yin/Yang

The concept of Yin and yang is important in Taoism, and consequently also holds special importance in sex. Yang usually referred to the male sex, whereas Yin could refer to the female sex. Man and Woman were the equivalent of heaven and earth, but became disconnected. Therefore, while heaven and earth are eternal, man and woman suffer a premature death.[8] Every interaction between Yin and Yang had significance. Because of this significance, every position and action in lovemaking had importance. Taoist texts described a large number of special sexual positions that served to cure or prevent illness.[9]

Women

For Taoists, sex was not just about pleasing the man. The woman also had to be stimulated and pleased in order to benefit from the act of sex. Sex should not happen if one or the other partners desire it more. If sex were performed in this manner, the woman would create more jing, and the man could more easily absorb the jing to increase his own qi. Women were also given a prominent place in the Ishinpō, with the tutor being a woman. One of the reasons women had a great deal of strength in the act of sex was that they walked away undiminished from the act. The woman had the power to bring forth life, and did not have to worry about ejaculation or refractory period.

Women were often given a position of inferiority in sexual practice. Many of the texts discuss sex from a male point of view, and avoid discussing how sex could benefit women. Men were encouraged to not limit themselves to one woman, and were advised to have sex only with the woman who was beautiful and had not had children. While the man had to please the woman sexually, she was still just an object.[10] At numerous points during the Ishinpō, the woman is referred to as the “enemy”; this was because the woman could cause him to spill semen and lose vitality. In later sexual texts from the Ming, women had lost all semblance of being human and were referred to as the “other,” “crucible”, or “stove” from which to cultivate vitality. The importance of pleasing the woman was also diminished in later texts.[11] The practice was known as Caibu (採補), as a man enters many women without ejaculation.

Women were also considered to be a means for men to extend men’s lives. Many of the ancient texts were dedicated explanation of how a man could use sex to extend his own life. But, his life was extended only through the absorption of the woman’s vital energies (jing and qi). Some Taoists called the act of sex “The battle of stealing and strengthening.”[12] These sexual methods could be correlated with Taoist military methods. Instead of storming the gates, the battle was a series of feints and maneuvers that would sap the enemy’s resistance.[13]

When and where

Another text, Health Benefits of the Bedchamber, indicates that certain times were better for intercourse than others. A person had to avoid having intercourse on quarter or full moons and on days when there were great winds, rain, fog, cold or heat, thunder, lightning, darkness over heaven and earth, solar and lunar eclipses, rainbows and earthquakes. Having intercourse at these times would harm a man’s spirit and would cause women to become ill. Children conceived at these times would be mad, stupid, perverse or foolish; mute, deaf, crippled or blind; unfilial and violent.

Also important was selecting the right day for intercourse if a person desired children. After the woman’s period, the first, third or fifth days were the best. If on these days the man ejaculated after midnight, the child would likely be male. If a female child was desired, the man needed to ejaculate on the second, fourth or sixth days after the cessation of the woman’s period.

The location of sex was also important. People had to avoid the glare of the sun, moon or stars, the interior of shrines, proximity to temples, wells, stoves and privies, and the vicinity of graves or coffins.

If these suggestions were followed the family’s offspring would be good, wise and virtuous. If they were not followed, the offspring would be evil and the family would eventually die off.[14]

Longevity and immortality

Some Ming dynasty Taoist sects believed that one way for men to achieve longevity or ‘towards immortality’ is by having intercourse with virgins, particularly young virgins. Taoist sexual books, such as the Hsuan wei Hshin (“Mental Images of the Mysteries and Subtleties of Sexual Techniques”) and San Feng Tan Cheueh (“Zhang Sanfeng’s Instructions in the Physiological Alchemy”), written, respectively, by Zhao Liangpi and Zhang Sanfeng (not to be confused with semi-mythical Zhang Sanfeng who lived in an earlier period), call the woman sexual partner ding () and recommend sex with premenarche virgins. Zhao Liangpi concludes that the ideal ding is a premenarche virgin just under 14 years of age and women older than 18 should be avoided.[15] Zhang Sanfeng went further and divided ding into three ranks: the lowest rank, 21- to 25-year-old women; the middle rank, 16- to 20-year-old menstruating virgins; the highest rank, 14-year-old premenarche virgins.[16]

According to Ge Hong, a 4th-century Taoist alchemist, “those seeking ‘immortality’ must perfect the absolute essentials. These consist of treasuring the jing, circulating the qi and consuming the great medicine.”[17] The sexual arts concerned the first precept, treasuring the jing. This is partially because treasuring the jing involved sending it up into the brain. In order to send the jing into the brain, the male had to refrain from ejaculation during sex. According to some Taoists, if this was done, the jing would travel up the spine and nourish the brain instead of leaving the body. Ge Hong also states, however, that it is folly to believe that performing the sexual arts only can achieve immortality and some of the ancient myths on sexual arts had been misinterpreted and exaggerated. Indeed, the sexual arts had to be practiced alongside alchemy to attain longevity. Ge Hong also warned it could be dangerous if practiced incorrectly.[17]

 

Stay away from cat fights

Cat FightWhile working on building yourself up to be as sexy as possible avoid toxic people and situations whenever possible. We all know about the ladies who love to engage in cat fights. There are televisions shows, movies and books about them. Shows like the “The Real Housewives of Wherever” has made this attitude appealing.

The media has a lot of people believing this toxic behavior is sexy. Maybe to an mentally imbalanced person, it maybe. I don’t know but to the rest of us. Being a bitch 24/7 is exhausting. And unproductive.  Being assertive and speaking up for yourself doesn’t mean being a bitch. Too many people confuse the two.

Toxic people drains your energy. Energy that you need to apply to being sexy. When I speak of being sexy I am not strictly speaking of attracting the opposite or same gender. I’m speaking being sexy for yourself. That’s the first person you have to be sexy for__is yourself.

  I guess you call guys who are bitchy and provocative “dog fights” LOL!

Don’t take the bait walk away. Toxic people love to engage in cat and dog fights. The reason I brought this up is once you start shining and building confidence there are going to be people who try and provoke into words of wit. Ignore them, take the high road and twist off in your sexiest strut. Use that energy to pamper yourself. 

The Kama Sutra

    Everyone has heard of the Kama Sutra, but most do not know there’s a lot more to it than sexual intercourse and sexual positions. It also speak of having or creating a fulfilling life in and out of the bed room. I know is probably the only parts most people read there’s much more to it than sex. Actually, only  20% of Kama Sutra is about sexual positions. The majority of the book, notes Jacob Levy, is about the philosophy and theory of love, what triggers desire, what sustains it, how and when it is good or bad.

Only a portion of the work consists of practical advice on sexual intercourse. It is largely in prose, with many inserted anustubh poetry verses. “Kāma” which is one of the four goals of Hindu life, means desire including sexual desire the latter being the subject of the textbook, and “sūtra” literally means a thread or line that holds things together, and more metaphorically refers to an aphorism (or line, rule, formula), or a collection of such aphorisms in the form of a manual.

The Kama Sutra is the oldest and most notable of a group of texts known generically as Kama Shastra

Historians attribute Kamasutra to be composed between 400 BCE and 200 BCE. The book consist of more than one author.

Bear in mind the book was written over 2,000 years ago and many things regarding women’s stations in life has change but below are a few things about different chapter.

1. General remarks
five chapters on contents of the book, three aims and priorities of life, the acquisition of knowledge, conduct of the well-bred townsman, reflections on intermediaries who assist the lover in his enterprises.
2. Amorous advances/sexual union
ten chapters on stimulation of desire, types of embraces, caressing and kisses, marking with nails, biting and marking with teeth, on copulation (positions), slapping by hand and corresponding moaning, virile behaviour in women, superior coition and oral sex, preludes and conclusions to the game of love. It describes 64 types of sexual acts.
3. Acquiring a wife
five chapters on forms of marriage, relaxing the girl, obtaining the girl, managing alone, union by marriage.
4. Duties and privileges of the wife
two chapters on conduct of the only wife and conduct of the chief wife and other wives.
5. Other men’s wives
six chapters on behaviour of woman and man, how to get acquainted, examination of sentiments, the task of go-between, the king’s pleasures, behaviour in the women’s quarters.
6. About courtesans
six chapters on advice of the assistants on the choice of lovers, looking for a steady lover, ways of making money, renewing friendship with a former lover, occasional profits, profits and losses.
7. Occult practices
two chapters on improving physical attractions, arousing a weakened sexual power.